Service with a Smile or A Sign of the Times?

I am a Foodie. I love good food and always have, so you have to understand that I am also a stickler for the 'total dining experience' when it comes to eating out. Anyone who has ever shared a meal with me knows that I am the Queen of Special Orders and delight in requesting 'this' on the side with an extra dollop of 'that' for good measure. I want the table by the window, away from the draft, and please light my candle as soon as the sun goes down. Food and all the pomp and circumstance that surrounds it is generally a sensual experience for me and when I am only interested in scarfing down some quick nourishment, I'll go home and nuke a Lean Cuisine, thank you very much. Otherwise, I want what I want (and am paying for), and because I've been on the other side of the table and understand the meaning of good service, I feel no guilt or embarrassment about politely requesting just that. This is my right as a discerning consumer with many choices.

After a sweaty, fun filled Memorial Day weekend, the last thing I wanted to do was go home and try to cook something over a hot stove, and PB & J just wasn't calling my name. It just so happens that I love cheeseburgers. A sloppy, juicy cheeseburger with all the fixings and dripping in ketchup, befriended by a side of sweet potato french fries with ranch dressing is my idea of Heaven on a Plate.

Alas! Like a shining beacon of yummyness, Umami Burger, known for its tender Kobe beef, began to gently whisper my name. One last thought of the stale bowl of cheerios that awaited me at home, and before I knew it I was driving down La Brea, at Wilshire, two stoplights from delicious bliss.

I hit the door of Umami at 5:17 p.m. Hardly the dinner hour, and anyone eating at this time and by themselves, is either headed back to the old folks home to catch Wheel of Fortune before lights out at 8, or they are merely interested in a quick bite. That said, ambiance counts for something, and I really didn't want to be sandwiched in between the restroom and the kitchen on a narrow bar stool in the farthest corner. I politely asked to be seated at one of five empty tables in the small establishment; a table for two near the front. The request was met with two blinks and a deer-in-headlights look from the first server, who quickly tossed me like a hot potato to his comrade, prior to me landing in the manager's hands on the third toss. The manager hemmed and hawed about why it 'would be best' to make myself at home in the corner, and I found myself bargaining my right to sit at my table of choice, promising to eat quickly when the place was virtually empty. Just then, the light bulb went off: I stopped myself mid-sentence, turned on my heels, and left Umami, burger-less.

Now I have spent my entire working life laboring in service-based industries. From my first job stocking shelves at a grocery store, waiting tables through college, as a paralegal for a criminal law firm, to my work now as a real estate broker, my highest priority has always been to cater to the needs of the very people that were either directly or indirectly fueling my paycheck. One could argue that every business or industry is service-based, since almost all are in some way dependent on a need or want from the consumer.

In Real Estate, I may debate the merits of a particular request, or provide a certain viewpoint that may sway the client in a different direction, but at the end of the day, my opinion really doesn't matter. My sole focus is quite simply reduced to providing the highest standard of care to the client and ensuring their complete satisfaction, to the best of my ability. This, my fiduciary duty, transcends all other obligation or ulterior motive that I may have.

In this tense economic time, The Real Estate industry has served as a perfect example of what it means to separate the wheat from the chaff. It is a time of 'survival of the fittest', where those in the industry who have been accustomed to just being 'order takers,' or have not come to understand what it means to 'service the listing,' have long since fallen by the wayside as consumers awake to the fact that they can afford to demand excellence and the most bang for their buck. In my opinion, this has actually been a positive shift for the industry, as only the best of the best have survived, restoring a high degree of respectability and professionalism to the duties that agents perform for their clients.

Knowing that we are living in a time when consumers are more conscientious than ever of how they spend their hard earned dollars, it literally blows my mind that the guiding principle that the 'customer is always right' has not resonated more powerfully with service providers.

In a time of Netflix, internet pirating, and general cost cutting, the cable providers are just now learning the importance of catering to the customer. Instead of the customary 'four hour window' wherein consumers have been expected to sit around twiddling their thumbs while waiting for the cable man to show up, the cable companies are wising up to the fact that consumers won't stand for having their time wasted. Given the choice, they'd rather do without. Suddenly and conveniently, the cable companies are able to provide a definitive time when the cable technician will arrive to turn on the service.

Although this kind of change is a step in the right direction, it bothers me that reverence for the customer is only applied after service providers have fully pissed off their consumer, pushed them to the edge, and driven them away, sometimes for good. A better example would be my hairstylist, Darin Birchler at Chop Chop Salon, whom I visit just twice a year. Every time I walk through the door, he kisses my cheek, looks me in the eye, hears what I want, feeds my meter while I'm there, critiques the fashion mags with me while he snips away and I sip my tea, and sends me out into the world a better version of myself. I never think to ask for anything because my needs are met before they even occur to me and I am more than happy to pay his less-than-bargain fee. Darin understands what I mean to his business and doesn't take me for granted. Consequently, I refer him half a dozen clients a year.

If nothing else good can come of this economic crisis, I hope that service providers can at least begin to understand the importance of anticipating and honoring their customers' needs instead of remaining negligent, ignoring the warning signs, and reacting when it's too late, the oil has been spilled, and the damage already done.

You Only Have Moments to Live

I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't prone to moodiness, volatility, and bouts of eccentric behavior. But then again, who among us isn't? The truth of the matter is that the source of our wavering and fluctuating attitudes is primarily due to our inability to live in the present moment and perceive our reality for what it truly is. Our minds are brilliantly adept at wandering. When we should be concerned with making a left hand turn at a busy intersection, we drift away from the present moment; worrying about what we are going to have for dinner, what our boss thought of that off-handed comment we blurted out in today's meeting, and regretting why we didn't do this or that differently. All of this fretting and hand-wringing about things that haven't happened or can't be changed actually has a devastating effect on our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Moreover, it's just a total waste of time and energy. I am blessed to have a couple of good friends (you know who you are) who consistently remind me to save my energy, live in the present moment, and remain grateful for all that I have. One of these friends recently sent me a book by Jon Kabat-Zinn, wherein I stumbled upon a quote that particularly resonated with me. This quote from an eighty-five year old woman said,

"Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day."

No truer words have been spoken and yet what seems like such a simple principle is elusive; slipping through our fingers just when we think we've caught it by the tail. Being present is tricky: our survival instincts have us hard-wired to anticipate danger and obstacles ahead, while our rational minds leave us ruminating over our past 'mistakes,' and desire to rewind and do things differently. So how do we overcome our instincts and mammalian brains to allow ourselves to just 'be' in the present moment ? Kabbat-Zinn suggests the following:

1. Consider what's right with you. "Until you stop breathing, there's more right with you than wrong with you," says Kabat-Zinn. Every day, take a moment to thank your eyes for seeing, your liver for functioning, your feet for carrying you from place to place. Heck, thank those mitochondria within your cells for pumping out the energy you need to get you out of bed in the morning.

2. Love yourself unconditionally. Hate yourself for being 40 pounds overweight? Those berating thoughts you have about your imperfections can actually derail you instead of motivating you into action. (It's that old story: Starve yourself as punishment for overeating, until you can't take it anymore and give in to a binge.) Rather than setting a weight-loss goal and promising to love yourself once you get there, Kabat-Zinn says you need to make an effort to love yourself "all the way," whether you're 300 pounds or 150. If you decide to eat smaller portions or give up chips for carrot sticks, simply tell yourself, "This is just the way I'm eating now as a way to live better."

3. Live in the present moment. "Every moment gives you the ability to learn, grow, and change," explains Kabat-Zinn. "If you can take a moment and live as if it really mattered, you can take a step back and see those impulses that may be negative to your health." What's more, you'll truly enjoy those indulgences like the creamy feel of a Godiva truffle or a 10-minute shoulder massage at an airport kiosk when your flight is delayed. You can also take pleasure in those small interactions with others: with the doorman, greeting you in your office lobby; the lady in line ahead of you at the supermarket; the goodnight hug from your child.

4. When life gets tough, don't take it personally. When faced with job loss, a foreclosure, or an impending divorce, it's really hard not to place the blame squarely on your own shoulders and get stuck in the "if only" mind-set. If only I had (choose one): taken a different job, bought a cheaper house, not cheated. That sort of rumination sets you up for full-blown depression. While it's important to accept responsibility for your actions, the best way to do that is by looking to the present rather than the past. What are you going to do that's different right now, at this moment, to move forward? "When the proverbial stuff hits the proverbial fan, it's really important to recognize and acknowledge the fear you're feeling," says Kabat-Zinn. "But also recognize that it's in these trying times that you will understand fully what it means to be human, to utilize all the resources you have." After all, it's those challenges faced by the World War II generation that earned it the distinction of being called the "greatest."

5. Put the "being" back in human. If you fill every moment with frenetic activity—work, text messaging, household chores, computer games—you never give yourself a chance to simply be. Too many of us are human stuff, the sum of our actions, instead of human beings, points out Kabat-Zinn. As corny as it sounds, just sitting for a moment to contemplate the clouds, the smell of freshly brewed coffee, the pattern of stalled cars winding around the freeway, is what separates us from the nut-gathering squirrels. And science shows it's a great stress reliever, to boot.

Easier said than done, I know. But there is no better time than now to begin living a life of mindfulness, in the present moment. Just 'be' and be well!

Zen Buddhist Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, reminds us to stop running...

Hungover & Hoodwinked in Hollywood

A few new updates around town...

The new Hollywood Trader Joe's on Selma and Vine St. just opened its doors! Upon my inaugural visit after a particularly self-indulgent evening the night before, the coffee sample guy took one look at me and proclaimed, 'Wow! You look like you need coffee more than anyone I've seen all day!' Thanks, buddy, I needed that, and the coffee too. Nevertheless, the specialty market is a much needed anchor in the area and should do wonders to support the urban growth of the neighborhood.

Meanwhile, the L.A. City Council is searching for ways to increase revenue (surprise, surprise) and has aimed its sight on foreclosure homes that aren't being properly maintained by banks and lenders. The City has implemented a new foreclosure registry website called L.A. Hoodwinked, where concerned citizens can go online and report unkempt or neglected homes in their neighborhoods. As a foreclosure broker, I can attest that despite every effort to properly secure these homes, it is not uncommon to find squatters, abandoned animals, school aged gangsters practicing their tagging, and a myriad of other nuisances in these properties that are often left vacant for months at a time. The city's new ordinance will require lending institutions that own homes found in violation of local requirements to pay fines of up to a thousand dollars a day, not to exceed $100,000/year. Pretty clever, City Council, but I wonder how effectively the system will operate, considering the data is fed by a third party provider called Realty Trac, that doesn't always deliver property updates with real time accuracy.

Finally, developer extraordinaire, Rick Caruso, known for his Disney-like urban retail developments (including The Grove, The Americana at Brand, and The Commons at Calabasas) announced his interest in running for Mayor once Antonio Villaraigosa terms out in 2013. Caruso might be a formidable candidate, considering his background in development and his enthusiasm to implement a monorail system along I-10 from downtown L.A. Like the proposed Wilshire Monorail, Caruso's plan may reveal a timelier option to the Subway to the Sea, which won't be realized for at least another twenty years. Supposedly, the monorail would take only five years to complete and at one-fourth the cost of the proposed subway system. More power to you, Rick. If you can accelerate Smart Growth, get me the hell out of my car and spare the bad drivers of L.A. from my road rage, you've certainly got my vote!

I Like to Bike!

I hope you've been frequenting spin class at the gym because this week is Bike Week LA- time to hit the streets! In honor of Bike-to-Work Day, the L.A. Metro Transportation Authority will be offering free bus and train rides to bikers on Thursday. Metro has also announced that they are removing the ban that prevents bikers from bringing their two wheelers on Metro trains during rush hours. The Metro will also be conducting a survey of bike commuters over the next three weeks to gain insight on the impact of public transit on bike commuters. The survey should help the L.A. MTA 'develop sustainable transportation solutions that reduce greenhouse gas emissions and vehicle miles traveled (VMTs) for trips through Metro Rail facilities.'

This is a positive step in the right direction for Los Angeles and urban development. The future livability of L.A. hinges in large part on the city's commitment to provide readily accessible and affordable modes of public transportation. Though it may be wishful thinking to imagine an urban L.A. that favors mass transit to private automobile use, an integrated public transit system is the fulcrum around which a sustainable and thoughtfully planned urban environment can be realized.

If the Metro remains urgent in its efforts to expand and grow with the rest of Los Angeles, we can look forward to a transit infrastructure that will encourage a vibrant, compact, and diverse urban environment unlike any Los Angeles has experienced up to this point. Because Los Angeles has matured without the benefit of a solid public transit system, attempts at retroactively beefing up our current system are riddled with obstacles. Like anything worth having, there will be a huge amount of work involved, but the result will be a healthier, cleaner city with fewer disgruntled commuters who can live, work and play in L.A. without being tethered to their cars. For the sake of our future, I am hopeful that the powers-that-be here in Los Angeles will remain committed to this vision.

As for Bike Week, if it's been a while since you've taken your ten speed out for a spin, checkout one of my favorite bike shops- Flying Pigeon LA. They can help you get your bike in fighting form and they host weekly bike rides and tours throughout various areas of Los Angeles. Happy trails!

It's Time to Get Real

I'm probably overdue for a meaty, real estate related post, but the last week seems to be a carbon copy of the week before: local and national consumer confidence is gradually returning (despite last week's stock market glitch), unemployment numbers are still high, and consumers still aren't spending money. Despite this news, investors, buyers, and sellers are returning to the bargaining table, but no one is showing their cards just yet. Sales are happening, but we're all still waiting for an influx of distressed inventory to hit the market place, providing new opportunity for eager buyers. Real Estate values in L.A. are generally stabilizing, though there is no real sign of growth any time before 2012.

Like everywhere, Angelonians are waiting for the good times to roll again, but it's hard to get a real sense of where the long road to recovery here in Los Angeles will lead us. Not a day goes by that I am not somewhat baffled by the state of the market and the reality of real estate in Los Angeles. I often refer to the industry as playing 'cowboys and indians,' with purchase agreements involved. Real Estate is complicated enough, but it really becomes a whole other animal in a city as diverse and nuanced as L.A.

A recent article in the L.A. Times, Finding the Real L.A., got me thinking more deeply about the City of Angels and what defines the essence, or true nature of a city. Despite their diversity, Angelonians reflect a 'United Colors of Benetton' kind of homogeneity, bred of the 'anything goes' vibe of sunny southern California. A brilliant blend of cultural diversity, layered upon an image driven need for individuality, has the ironic effect of defining our

so. Cal. cultural norms from a rather limited set of influences. As members of one of the world's great melting pots, Angelonians appear and act in similar ways on the outside and across a broad and tolerant range of 'norm', but as individuals with varied backgrounds, their perceptions of the world are heavily influenced by an iceberg of cultural and life experiences that lay just beneath the surface.

Every sub-cultural has its odd and unique qualities, but Los Angeles and its people fascinate me for their elusiveness. New York, with all of its raw edginess, reminds us of our humanness. When we bump shoulders with the banker or the janitor on the subway, somehow we are humbled; reminded that we are all one in the same and cut of the same cloth. You know where you stand in cities like New York, and if you don't, someone will surely tell you.

In the car-obsessed culture of Los Angeles, it becomes all too easy to remain distanced and disengaged from our fellow city-dwellers. Surrounded by the security of steel and glass, our interactions seem mainly to spring from disgruntled encounters on the freeway or hurried exchange at the Whole Foods checkout. The sense of distance that our fast, car-based culture encourages, also fuels a sense of indifference towards one another that keeps us keeping to ourselves. While a New Yorker may go out of the way to tell you that the color of your shirt is atrocious, an Angelonian may let you walk down the street with four feet of toilet paper stuck to your shoe.

Assuming that a city is defined by the collective state-of-mind of its citizens, I am really fascinated by what this implication means for the future of L.A., especially as we traverse the murky waters ahead. How will our essence be defined? What lessons have we learned from the past five years? Have we changed for the better, and if so, how? How will our culture be re-shaped based upon the collective pain we've just been through?

I'm curious.... how do you define L.A.? What are its most positive qualities and its less desirable ones? How do you think L.A. and its people will change in the next ten years?

As it relates to Real Estate, the answers to these questions are critical in redefining a thoughtfully planned and vibrant city experience that supports the Angelonian lifestyle, in all its diversity. We must first know who we are, before we can become what we long to be.

One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure!

You'll have to forgive me...I've had to surrender to my inner Carrie Bradshaw for the purpose of this blog post...

I recently read an article in the L.A. Times that made me breathe a sigh of relief about being a single, taller-than-average gal in L.A. According to the article, Tall Girls, More Cattle, if I get too hard up for companionship, I'm only a plane flight away from a sea full of eager Sudanese suitors, ready to honor, adore, and capitalize off of prospective young brides whose height beats the bell curve.

It seems that "tall girls fetch more cattle because their daughters will quickly grow and can be married off to fetch even more cattle," according to a Sudanese chief interviewed for the article. "A tall girl can command 60 to 100 cattle from a suitor. A short girl may get 20 head, and, sometimes, short girls overstay their welcome in the father's home and end up fetching only five cattle. By then, a tall girl has already borne five children." Hey, there's no ambiguity here- these people know exactly what they want- bring on the Amazons!

Now here's where it get's amusing...

After five years in L.A., I have yet to shake my bafflement over the dating scene here. There is definitely a 'smoke & mirrors' element going on in la-la land and few are ever what they appear or advertise. It's a slippery slope: most everyone, even those in committed relationships, seems always to have at least one eye out for a bigger, better slice of pie. Everyone's looking for something better because they're not truly happy with what they've got. No one seems to be happy with what they've got since they've never really taken the time to figure out what they want. They only know that it's not the person they're with.

Just as in Sudan, our preferences for a mate really indicate a lot about our cultural influences, the priorities in our lives, and how we view ourselves in the context of a partnership. What one person finds appealing, may be a complete turn off for another. Knowing this, it seems obvious that the first step in finding happiness with another person is to get real clear on exactly what we want in a companion. As a perfect example of this lack of clarity, take an interaction a good friend of mine- tall & single- recently had on a dating website (names have been changed to protect the innocent):

Email #1, from the tall friend to an online suitor:
ok...so this feels a bit weird for me... I won't tell you that I haven't dabbled on an online dating site before, but it still feels so impersonal and disconnected. I feel like I'm at the grocery store, picking through a bunch of bruised apples to find the last good one, but you really don't know until you get it home and take a bite. that sounded kind of weird, didn't it? Anyway, you piqued my interest because of your smile, that appears warm and genuine, and the fact that you love all the same little L.A. things that I do and I could not agree with you more about the driving frustrations. This is the life here in L.A. You seem like a nice guy. Let me know if you have any interest in getting to know one another....
Email #2, response from suitor:
You completely busted me up with "bruised apples" analogy! You must be new to this site!! I so often refer to online dating as rummaging through the damaged bin and looking for that one perfectly good widget or whatchamakalit that somehow got misplaced in THAT bin, you know? Diamond in the rough, so to speak... That being said-- I think you are lovely and cool and have a certain humility I admire, so thank you for risking yourself as you did: I am honored. I will make one request however: You are soooo tall - Please don't wear high heels around me. At least not in the beginning. I'd hate for you to find yourself looking down on me on that first date, not even an inch! ;-) Throw me a number so I can do the more normal and gentlemanly thang of calling the lovely-lass girlie. We can carry this on there. Oh, I'm Bob. And Again, You're Lovely.
Email #3- Response to the Suitor:
Oohh Bob... I'm sorry about the height thing...obviously not something I can help. Depending on the date, I usually wear flats because I have learned from past experience that a lot of men really get hung up on my height and it tends to make them feel emasculated. The last thing a big girl wants to do is emasculate a man because then she feels that he no longer sees her as feminine and womanly, and no girl wants to feel that way. It's funny...I have dated men shorter than me who had no problem with my height, in flats or heels, simply because their inner confidence and outward swagger made up for any element of inferiority that the world could possibly label them with. There is nothing sexier than a man who just isn't phased.... I don't mean to give you a hard time, Bob, but asking a tall girl to wear flats is liking telling a chubby girl to wear all black. Since you have brought it up on your first email to me, I know that it would be an issue for you and that you would feel emasculated, at least a little, which now automatically makes me feel as if I would be unattractive or unfeminine in your eyes. you see? It might be a good idea to change the height of your ideal match on your profile, so that you can really find someone who meets your criteria instead of someone that you have to ask to adapt and adjust themselves in order to make the cut. Best of luck, Bob, and truly, thanks for your interest!

Poor Bob, you gotta work on your game, dude. Needless to say, my friend is still single and searching, but after some consoling, I think she feels better knowing that there are 'different strokes for different folks', a taller and more secure piece of pie out there somewhere, and a whole tribal community ready to worship her big, gangly bod. Most importantly, she's getting clear on what she wants (or doesn't want, in this instance).

If a Sudanese tribe can make love a simplistic formula, certainly the rest of us should also be able to come up with a formula that works for our individual needs? There doesn't even have to be cattle involved! Just figure out what you want and why, stick to your shopping list, and hold on for dear life when you hit the mother lode!

This Just In! Equity in Home Affects Net Worth (well, duh.)

Unless you've been living under a rock, it likely won't come as a shock to you that the National Association of Realtors has recently published a report showing that the loss in equity of Los Angeles, Long Beach, and Orange County homes has had a direct affect on the net worth of homeowners.
The net worth of an individual is measured by their total assets, like homes and bank accounts, minus total liabilities, such as mortgages, car loans, credit cards, and other debt. Over sixty-two percent of homeowners in the southern California area also have direct or indirect stock holdings that have likely been dramatically and negatively impacted over the last three years.

With a dramatic dip in home prices that began mid-year of 2007, homeowners who have purchased their homes in the last five years have lost considerable equity, with an average loss of just under $80,000 in home value. Those who have been in their current homes for ten to twenty years have been less impacted by the dramatic decline in values, while retaining between $188,000 and $192,000 worth of equity in their homes.

Individual net worth is a critical measure of the overall health of the economy since it dictates and drives consumer confidence, decisions regarding consumption and savings, work and leisure activities.

The Fed recently resurveyed households near the end of 2009 to further examine how the market decline and supposed recovery have continued to affect net worth of U.S. homeowners. Results are expected later this year- stay tuned!

Visit Realtor.org for more facts, figures, and statistics on today's national housing market.

There's No Place Like Home

Spring is in the air and I don't know about you, but I've been bitten by the travel bug once again. Now I know that many of us are trying to be prudent and mindful of our wallets, but you'd be surprised how many bargain get-a-ways are right outside of our front doors as so. Cal residents. The mild and warm weather is often noted as one of the top reasons that bring people to southern California and the reason why they stay. I think that many of us take for granted the fact that we live within two hours of practically any climate or condition you could wish for, making a quick getaway to relative paradise practically required.

I hit the wall the week before last and realized that I needed a break, and so did everyone around me. On a whim, I booked a last minute hotel room in San Diego for the night and hopped on the 405 on a Sunday morning to head out for my adventure. Forty eight hours later, I was back in L.A., refreshed, relaxed, and with a whole new outlook on life. What a difference a day (or two) makes! I am a true believer that travel, even in small doses, does wonders for keeping your head screwed on straight. Everyone needs a little r & r and getting out of your normal surroundings really helps you to see others, your own life, and your problems from a much more well-rounded perspective.

That said, in addition to these hot spots that are a mere hop/skip away (link below), if you happen to head to San Diego I would recommend taking a detour to Encinitas on your way. Encinitas is a great little California surfer town about 30 minutes north of San Diego, with lots of great taco stands, new age shops, and a laid back vibe. For an incredible view and an amazing sunset, head to the Self-Realization Fellowship on PCH for a stroll through their meditation gardens on the cliffs of the Pacific Ocean. Happy travels!

4 Southern California weekend escapes - latimes.com

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